Goodbye New York. Thanks for doin me.

My friend Andi thought I should call this post "A Trail of Broken Hearts." But I broke no hearts in New York. I merely found some friends who kept me company along the way.

Will was the first threesome that Scott and I had. It was my 30th birthday, and he was more into Scott than me, but it was ok because Umecke was visiting and I kept going and talking to her in the living room when I felt bored. Even though I don't think I got off, Will, thanks for doin me.

Two nights later I threw myself a suprise birthday party by spontaneously inviting a bunch of guys back from the Roxy. That was a crazy night! Ben, Nick, Daniel, Chris, Pierre, and Hot Austrian guy, thanks for doin me.

At my and Scott's first New York gay pride in June 2006, we met a guy who had his shirt on and was glued to a girl. We thought he was straight, until later in the night he rolled on up to me and said, "I have a thick 8 inch penis." His name was Scott. Scott, thanks for doin me.

Good old Steve was a cutie. He was the first man I slept with alone after Scott and I opened up our relationship. He looks like a big man, but he's a real cuddly type on the inside. Steve, thanks for doin me.

There was only Scott from fall 2006 until we broke up in May 2007. Last summer had a rocky start as I learned to be single again, but the combination of Fire Island and my new freedom was explosive. That summer was one of the few times in my life that I have actually deserved my slutty reputation. So Shai, Kurt, Kelly, the other Kelly, Jim, Ian, Paul, Jean Francois, Dieter, Barry, Hot South African, Overly Romantic Brazilian guy, Mike, and Chris (whew!), thanks for doin me.

Then I met Brett. I don't know if I want to thank him. Oh hell, I learned something from him, so why not. Brett, you were an adorable pain in my ass, but thanks for doin me.

After Brett I didn't feel like hooking up. The beginning of this last winter was spent with me reflecting on how I wanted to engage men in the future. I became very introspective, but after two to three months, I started crawling out of my shell. I found a few men to keep me warm. Peter, Mark, Tom, and especially the delightful and entertaining John, thanks for doin me.

This last weekend was the Black Party (one of the bigger leather dance parties in the world) here in New York. I wore a leather jock strap and boots, and the line between flirting and sex became very blurry throughout the night. So let me just give a general shout out. Men of the Black Party, thanks for doin me.

And my dear New York. You did me real good, didn't you?! In other cities I dreamt of what I wanted to be. In New York I started realizing those dreams, and then learned what I don't want to be. I had the best relationship of my life, but learned that I can't handle opening a relationship too early. I got the corporate job that was my ideal of success, and then found instantly that I didn't fit in the environment.

Then you threw one last curve ball at the end, didn't you New York?! You gave me several great dates with a wonderful man. You made him funny enough to exhaust me from laughing. You made him just my type. You made him masculine, charming, affectionate, and vulnerable. But I'm on to your game New York. I don't fall for tricks so easily anymore. I'm going to leave you before I have a single negative memory of him, and always wonder what would have happened had I stayed. And in the near future I will hold all potential boyfriends up to the unrealistic expectations that I will base on the perfect scenario that could have been. Marshall, I will miss you.

Through it all, I still love you New York. Goodbye Great City. Thanks for doin me.