Mom and Dad met on a blind date in San Francisco, and they fell in love quickly. Dad proposed to Mom on a lookout near the north side of the Golden Gate bridge, where they had gone on their first date, and when Mom accepted they thought they were the luckiest people in the world.
Mom was 23 and Dad was 25 when I was born, but very shortly after I was born my Mom realized that she was the only one who was really ready to grow up. Dad kept partying, and despite Mom's efforts to get him to take some responsibility for me, he drank more and more. One night Dad got into a fight at our house and ran after a friend of his with an axe (that must be where I get my spantaneous side). Mom recognized the symptoms of an alcoholic that she knew so well from her own parents, and it scared her.
She also felt more and more alone in Albuquerque. Dad's family all live there, but she grew distant from his family. Mom tells the story of leaving me with Dad's mother one day while they went on a date. When they got home, good 'ol granny was hammered on cooking sherry and had wrapped me in a pair of her panties (I bet I felt pretty). Mom didn't leave me with granny anymore. In fact, Mom didn't feel safe in Albuquereque anymore. So for my safety and well-being, Mom left Dad and moved to Alameda.
Alameda is a suburb of San Francisco, and is actually a little island in the bay east of The City. In the 70's it had a major naval base at the north end of the island, and my mother went there because my grandpa (her father) was a civilian consultant stationed on the base.
Dad made an attempt to be a good father to me and moved to Alameda when I was two. He got a job, tried to supress his insatiable desire to party (I'll have to thank Dad for that quality too), and got Mom pregnant again with my little sister Jennifer. But then Dad slipped to his old ways, and the day that Jennifer was born, Mom had to choose between Dad and her own father being in the hospital room with her. She chose her father. Dad got pissed and moved back to Albuquerque before Mom left the hospital. Mom went back to the lookout where they had their first date, and where he had later proposed, and threw her wedding ring into the San Francisco bay as a symbol of letting him go forever (Isn't that sad?). He called three or four years later on Father's Day to talk to us, and we didn't hear from him again until 1988. I'll save that for another chapter.
We lived in Alameda until 1984. There is only one character from those years that I really want to talk about. His name was Helmut, and when I was about five (1981) he became the manager of our apartment building. Mom and him became friends immediately, and Helmut became the first important male figure in mine and Jennifer's lives. He taught me to swim, taught me to ride a bike, gave me my first paid job ($1 for cleaning the pool), and took us all out to eat a couple times each week. I think Mom really loved him though, and over the years I think she hoped that he would eventually make us a family. But in early 1984, my aunt Linda moved into the building, and Helmut and her started dating. It might have sucked for Mom, but I can't argue with their choice. Helmut and Linda are still together, 23 years later.
I have only vague memories of Mom trying to date other men. There was a guy who lost a hand in a firecracker accident who would never play with me because he was busy watching sports on television. There was a guy with a thousand laser discs who left Mom when he realized he was gay. And I think there was a Mormon. Then in June of 1984, when Mom was heartbroken over Helmut and Linda, she met a sailor named Chuck who was based in San Diego but working in Alameda for the summer. Eight weeks later they got married, and by summer's end we had begun our new life in the San Diego suburb of El Cajon.
Chuck was only my stepfather for two years, but he was crazy enough to deserve his very own chapter. So I'll leave that for later.
No comments:
Post a Comment