On Sunday after going out dancing I went to meet Umecke at someone's house where people were drinking the night away. As soon as I walked in she introduced me to an attractive young brunette named Yvette and said, "I already got her to take her pants off for us. She's hilarious."
Before getting settled I went to the kitchen and got myself a drink. When I returned to the living room, I sat across the room from Yvette. She was mumbling something that I couldn't quite understand, and I realized that she was pretty trashed. Umecke clued me in that she was busting some freestyle poetry. (Seriously, bad sign) Once Yvette saw that she had my attention she raised her voice and started including me in her busted poetry. She rhymed about my tank top, my muscles, and my wrist cuff being on the wrong wrist. Obviously very deep stuff. Then the rhyming stopped.
Yvette got up and stood in front of me. "I like your muscles," she said. "I want to bite them."
Me: Um, ok.
She bit my left bicep. Everyone in the room laughed.
Yvette: Do you want to see my Tweety?
I have a friend with a Tweety Bird tattoo on his leg, so I figured she must have some similar art somewhere.
Me: Um, ok.
Yvette faced away from me, undid her tight jeans, and slid them down to her knees. Underneath she had flesh colored see-through g-string panties. She bent over a little bit and gave me a wide view of her ass (my inner voice was thanking Jesus I couldn't see Mr. Winky), then looked back at me over her left shoulder. I bet I looked a little confused.
She then turned around and started dancing very slowly in front of me. Thanks to the shearness of her panties I could see her brown bush underneath. Despite the awe-struck faces and giggles in the room, Yvette began pulling on the side strings of her panties that normally held her panties on her hips.
Me: (Confused) Yvette, where is your Tweety?
Yvette: (Pointing to her vagina) This is my Tweety!
Me: Ohhhhh, my bad. Um, nice Tweety? (To everyone else in the room:) Well I for one didn't think I would see a vagina tonight. You guys?
Yvette pulled her pants back up and walked over to my friend Dimitri who was sitting on the floor near me. She leaned down and said, "You're wearing fireman pants.'' She straddled him. "I fuck firemen!"
Dimitri: Oh??? (A little scared looking)
Yvette: I dated a fireman once. (Whispering:) But he had a tiny penis.
Dimitri: Really? I dated a fireman once too but he had a big penis.
Yvette: (Looking very intrigued) Really? Do you still know him?
The rest of the room is rolling at this point. Yvette stood up and saw me sitting in a different chair. She came over to me, pulled her pants down again, and sat in my lap. She leaned back on me and put her right hand in her panties. I looked in disbelief at Umecke. Yvette lifted the panty string over her right hip and said, "Bite it."
I said, "Only if someone takes a picture.'' In two seconds, three phone cameras were in my face. I bit it. As soon as someone sends me one of those pictures I promise I will share.
Yvette got up and walked outside. After a couple minutes I realized that nothing inside was nearly as entertaining as her, so I went to the balcony to find her. She was in the middle of telling a story that had something to do with something going up her butt.
Me: Baby, what are you on?
Yvette: Life
Me: You might want to smoke a bit less Life next time.
If I had a Tweety it would look like this:
1 comment:
Well, at least she did not have a "Sylvester the Cat" to show you. If that was the case, I would expect to see skunk bush and a spitting slit. Where do you meet these people¿ Woah! How did I figure out how to type an upside down question mark¿ I feel so Spanish now.
CG
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