Liesl is 16 going on 17, I feel like 32 going on 100

So every Thursday night at Chelsea Cinemas they play some fantastically camp movie. I heard about it once when Heada Lettuce was the host for Showgirls, but I couldn't make it. But tonight my friend Mike asked me if I would go see Sound of Music, and I thought sure, why not?

Can I just say what a great movie that is? Did they realize how crazy over-the-top it was when they were making it? Actually, I'm getting side-tracked. My point of this entry was about the romance part. At the beginning, Liesl von Trapp meets her soon-to-be-Nazi boyfriend out by the gazebo. They exchange these adorable little snipets of conversation, then burst into song about how she's young and naive and needs someone older to take care of her. Someone like him, who is 1 whole year older. She's 16 going on 17, he's 17 going on 18. Is this ringing a bell?

So I'm sitting there thinking, "Why don't my dates look like this? What does a boy have to do to get a little romance?"

I think my feelings might have been exaggerated by the conversation I was having with Mike in the theater before the movie started. He's a big ol' top, and apparently he meets a lot of guys who want him to shoot a load up them on the first date. I've watched a bareback movie or two myself, so we started laughing about the whole vocabulary that goes along with the fetish. "Breed my man pussy." "Churn the cream." "Fill me up with your hot load."

The 16-going-on-17 scene ended with a kiss, and Lisa looked like it was the best thing that ever happened to her. It clearly wasn't even their first date. So what happened in the last 50 years? How did we go from magical kisses that made us fall in love to breeding pussy boys long before it's even acceptable to talk about love?

Did you think I was moving toward an answer? Nope.